Dan Gilbert Asks Why Are We Happy

Nancy Etcoff on the surprising science of happiness

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Had a conputer meltdown this morning before I had to drop family off at the airport, before missing a deadline…

Surprisingly, I didn’t find myself much stressed at all. Perhaps a but frustrated that I had to make an unnecessary trip out to the Apple store, but that’s about it.

Stressful days should be taken in stride. Take a deep breath, mentally organize your to-do list, and do one thing at a time. it’s surprising to realize how often we forget to do these things, and let our minds spin off into chaotic anxiety. Really, if you think about it, you’re less capable of productivity if you’re so focused on wigging out. Funny how that works.

Anyway, after getting most everything done, I headed back to my parents’ to forage for any food that may spoil while they are away, and found this lovely fruit. It’s a star fruit (not exactly local), but definitely a nice pick-me-upper to remind me of my roots. Call it- comfort food.

So, I try to remind myself to be present and aware of my body and mind at all times, even when I really would rather not, like today… But to be present, allows yourself to be honest with yourself, and ultimately I think it’s one of the keys to being truly happy. At least, it makes life a whole lot less complicated!

To Good Health, Joyce

inspiration to get off your butt →

photos by alex rapada

“Letting go of our need for control opens us up to the wonders that exist in our lives right now. When we start to have fears about what will happen, we automatically catapult ourselves out of our lives and start mentally fretting over something that may never actually happen. Once we realize that we can never be in charge of the future and that by holding onto a future fantasy we are more likely to be frustrated, however, it will become much easier to fully engage in what we are doing in the present — living in our lives instead of in a daydream. Being present today will bring your focus to the moment and will give you a greater feeling of well being about your life as it is seen.”

Free Compliments! →

What better way to cheer up than getting and giving compliments? These guys dole ‘em out, and they’re cute too! Try giving out a compliment today to someone you normally wouldn’t speak to; it’ll put a smile on your face.

So this is a picture from the traffic I sat in this morning to get from West LA to Burbank for some offsite work. Ugly, isn’t it? But this is typical Los Angeles traffic, and most people who aren’t fortunate enough to live a stones throw from their jobs, or where ever they are traveling, have to deal with it.

On my way back to West LA, I looked in my rear view to check out the scene behind me. This female in a bright yellow mustang with copious dents, was screaming (at me?) and flailing her arms erratically. She was probably late to a meeting, or really hated traffic. This struck me as a little amusing. It’s Los Angeles, she’s on the notoriously congested 405 freeway, and she’s stressed out that she’s stuck in traffic. Is she surprised that she’s stuck in traffic? It happens. Then I started thinking about whether venting all that anger and frustration out made her feel better. I know it doesn’t make me feel better. How do you feel when you get frustrated and angry?

I don’t know about you, but when I get stressed out my muscles tense up, I start to hunch over, my heart speeds up, and my jaw clenches. Most times, I even make a fist. I can FEEL my blood pressure rising and my body shutting down. It’s like all my energy is focused on being upset and feeling bad. I used to love feeling this way. I must have! I would dwell on things that made me brood, and would let myself become angry way too often. I wasted time and energy that I could have used being productive, on being hateful and angry and feeling physically ill.

Bottom line is- if it doesn’t feel good, why bother? Next time you feel yourself getting angry over something as trivial as traffic, take a moment and step back, take a deep breath, and think about WHY you are getting angry and how your body feels. If you notice that it feels bad, try to change your mentality about your situation. If you’re late to a meeting, you’re late. There’s really no way of changing that, no matter how much you throw your arms in the air and honk at the person in front of you… or weave through lanes. Hell, that could even lead to an accident, and that’s DEFINITELY not worth it. Plan ahead as best as you can, and leave the rest up to the traffic gods!

To Good Health,
Joyce

Introduction to Pranayama Breathing
I really enjoy incorporating Pranayama into my yoga practice; it has also helped me get rid of pesky headaches, reduce stress, and stave off anxiety attacks. It can be done right before bed for meditation to clear the mind and cleanse the body before rest.

mental health

last night i talked with a friend about her ex-fiance and everything that’s happened since i’ve last spoken with her (6months ago). the deterioration of his mental health led to their parting. he’d started showing signs of bipolar disorder in february and quickly degraded into (speculated) schizophrenia.

he’s since gotten some help and medication, but his life will never be the same again. he had graduated from an excellent university, was engaged to be married to a wonderful lady, and was studying to become a pharmacist. they were living together, and everything seemed to be on track to success and harmony. she wonders if the stress of everything coming together might have been a trigger that set things in motion. but really, it could have just been his age and genetics.

it is so strange, how your life can just take a turn for the absurd (and not necessarily worse), in a matter of months. i think people tend to overlook their own mental health a lot and in turn, it affects their physical health. before the onset of his schizophrenia, he had gone from having no job or stress, to moving out of state, working two jobs, going to school full time, and helping with the wedding plans. he had such high expectations for himself, that i can see how became overwhelmed. the stress was not the cause of his schizophrenia, but that’s enough to make the calmest person at least a little crazy!

now, there’s no way of preventing genetic or mental disorders like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, but we all have a little madness in our daily lives that can be easily extinguished. some things you can do to de-stress your daily life are:

- wake up early: set the morning alarm 10 minutes earlier, so you have that extra ten minutes to stretch out in bed before greeting the day. just don’t fall back asleep! also- give yourself sufficient time in the morning to properly rouse and get ready. if you’re running out the door or constantly forgetting things, you need to go to bed earlier to get up earlier. the worst way to start your day is by scrambling- it just ruins the mood for the day.
- organize your schedule: i find that keeping a calendar/to-do list helps me see my hectic schedule in perspective. it’s less overwhelming when you can visualize what you need to do and how much time you realistically have. if you have too much to do in one day, delegate the tasks out, or move your schedule around to prioritize. be realistic with how much you can actaully do, and try to not take on too much. plus- the efficiency will make you feel accomplished!
- de-clutter your environment: something as simple as buying boxes to store all the tv remotes, or putting all the pens away in a drawer, helps immensely. a cluttered envrionment leads to a cluttered mind. keeping things clean and neat will give you energy to get things done, and stay focused.
- read to relax: it’s tempting to sit in front of a television or computer when you get home from work, but it really shuts down the mind. i dont know about you, but if i spend a night watching tv or staring at my laptop, i feel like i’ve gotten nothing done, and it makes it more painful to return to work in the morning. there’s very little stimulation when you watch television (yeah i know, that’s the appeal), but putting on some music and plopping down with a good book stimulates the mind, and ignites the imagination (who’s up for some wild dreams?). the extra plus is- you’ll have more interesting conversational topics to bring up at your next dinner party!
- sit while you eat: taking time out to sit down for dinner without distraction is very important to my mate and myself. mealtimes should be social as well as decompressing. you will enjoy your food more if you’re sitting and actually chewing it as opposed to running around shoveling god-knows-what into your mouth.
- always expect the unexpected: nothing is ever going to go 100% the way you want it to. i find that understanding this is really important to keeping my head on my shoulders. when things get crazy, you just have to breathe, do what you can, and let the rest roll off your back.
- indulge yourself AT LEAST once a day to unwind: this is the most important, in my opinion. indulging means doing something that makes you feel good and promotes health. i like doing yoga or meditating/taking time out for myself. you might want to take time out to take a steamy bath, or perhaps take a nice long walk/jog around the neighborhood. even just taking deep relaxing breaths and clearing your mind for 10 minutes helps. doing something delicious for your mind and body will make you feel good in short and the long run. it’s the ultimate hedonism!

you don’t necessarily have to do all these things everyday, but i think it’s good to incorporate as much as you can into each day. society today is so focused on fast paced living, that we seem to miss all the beautiful things that are happening around us. learn to love your life, by spoiling your only greatest gift- your body.

to good health,

joyce